When I wrote my last blog I was just about to go to my band rehearsal and wasn't exactly in the mood; simply because I was exhausted and felt a bit detached, if that makes any sense...I got the feeling that although I hadnt specifically taken time out to let God know how I was feeling, I was aware that He was saying, 'I get it but its going to be ok'! It was a session where we were running through one of our possibilities for our showcase, 'Jumpin' Jack flash' by the Rolling Stones. So we were just setting up and I usually take the longest and all I have is a mic and a lead!!lol Sorry girls...I don't exactly fly the flag for girls and PA set up...but I'm learning! Anyway, so strangely I was set up and just went to the keyboard and started playing 'Easy', you know (like Sunday morning)...I know you're all singing it now! So I was playing and Dave came in on the drums, put a sweet beat behind it and then the bass and guitar started. Sounds really lame but it was kinda cool!! It also reminded me that music (in this place) is the one thing that brings us together (get the lighters out). Its funny how a simple jam like that, made us all ready to at least give our Rolling Stones number a go...and guess what, we actually thought it sounded good! I think yesterday was a tough day for me and today is a bit weird (can't put my finger on it...maybe I'm just a bit homesick). So basically what I realised was that I may not know all these people as weel (yet!) as my friends and family at home, but we're here for the same reasons and enjoy playing music with other musicians.
I think my feelings of stress are down to my expectations of myself as much as anything else. I mean, I feel a lot of the time that I haven't done as much as a lot of other performers on this course in terms of selling myself as a singer, doing demos and having all this fancy recording equipment and just things like that...I know I definately need to talk to God about this and remind myself that if I trust Him, I'll end up where I'm meant to be and it really will be the best thing. Being at vocaltech is a real pathway into the music industry but I'm also realising that it isn't easy and I need to push myself into situations that will help me get to where I'm trying to get...
I'm taking one step forward tonight and heading to a jazz open mic night. I don't think I'm ready to get up and perform....maybe next week..lol
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