When I fall

I arrived back in London last night and am getting ready for another busy term (last one!!!!). I have a 4 hour band rehearsal this afternoon which I'm praying goes well.... I think I've made a very big decision whilst spending time at home over Easter and its probably the best decision I could make at this stage; I've spent too long worrying about the future, wondering why I'm not where I want to be and feeling like I'll never get what I've wanted all my life. I've decided to....wait for it.....be patient! Its strange to say that because I always thought I was, but I guess not enough! I've had such a great time at home catching up with friends and getting lots of encouragement which was much needed! I still miss home like mad but I know that at the moment it isn't where I'm meant to be. 

I was on the plane yesterday and this song came on my ipod which just reminded me how, no matter whether I achieve what I set out to or whether I'm at my lowest, when I fall, I know where I'm landing. We all have times when we feel like God is nowhere around us and doesn't really understand..but He does and I need to keep reminding myself of that. Especially in London where it can be intensely lonely, I forget that I'm never alone.

I really wanted to make an amendment  or really, addition to this blog. This evening I was at a gig in Soho and as usual, everyone was heading out for a few drinks after. I usually would go but tonight I just needed to get home. So after enduring the slagging for going home and being a 'granny'?? Yeah, suddenly wanting to go home sober and get into a nice warm bed makes you a granny! anyway, I just knew that on this occasion something was telling me to call it a night. After nearly getting lost round Soho and eventually finding Piccadilly Circus (I don't know why I went that far either!), I got to the platform and was just watching all these people and thinking about this blog that I had written only this morning and was reminding myself over and over...'you're not alone'! Because there and then, I really felt it! I turned to my right and caught the eye of a guy standing next to me and O my word, we both laughed!; it was my friend Andrew from church back home! I had completely forgotten that he was studying in London! It was lovely to have a chat and find someone from home who lives near me in London! 

The world really IS small and God really DOES want us to know that we're not alone.

  

When I fall - Rachael Lampa

How can I find You

Are You hiding or am I

Should I go or should I wait for a sign

Following Your voice

Walking through a desert night

And I see Your silent storm in the sky

And I stand in my emotion, and I let it be my own

And I know I'm not forsaken

And I'll never be alone

When I fall, when I fall

I know where I'll be landing

When I fall, when I fall

You will still be standing

Somewhere in the silence

I can hear Your broken voice

Like a radio station fading out of range

Somewhere in the crowd

From the corner of my eye

I thought that I could feel You walking by

And when I get this feeling, like I am not so strong

I still can feel You with me

Yeah, You've been there all along

When I fall, when I fall 

I know where I'll be landing 

When I fall, when I fall 

You will still be standing 

When I fall, Yeah 

Somewhere I'm alone

Won't You take my empty hands

And fill them with Your love

Won't You take me as I am

When I fall, when I fall 

I know where I'll be landing 

When I fall, Oh, when I fall 

You will still be standing