........

I've had a pretty rubbish couple of weeks since I've been back in London..(if I'm completely honest). I had flu and am just starting to get back on track now, I've had a showcase to prepare for and too many other things that I've missed when sick. It's all getting too much and I'm struggling! It's weird for me to be so honest about that because I usually just pretend that everything is ok. My showcase went well on Monday...or so I thought at the time but I'm just feeling a bit disappointed with some of the feedback so far. Of course, I'm here to learn and constructive criticism is good but sometimes when you work sooooo hard, you kinda expect a bit of praise in return. Perhaps i'm too niave...

I'm missing home and I've been talking to friends on the phone, trying my very best not to break down because I just want to be near them and get a decent hug! I think its very easy for me to get lost in this music world and be slightly institutionalized! Yesterday my friend Sarah and I were trying to get people to come and watch Obama's inauguration but no one seemed interested! Now that shocked me and angered me slightly because the one thing I'm trying to hold onto is the fact that I want to be a professional musician and have some level of success...BUT I want to care about the wider world and find what God has planned for me outside of all this music. It scares me that a lot of my peers weren't interested in this historic event...but thats another story.

Every day recently, I'm just feeling more and more disconnected from all the things I've loved for so long, like family, friends and home; but I've ended up feeling lost and a bit lonely. In other words...its not how I expected to feel.

I was reading 97 seconds with God and I'm taking this verse with me today..

''Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things'' Colossions 3v2