Keeping in touch

I've just spent about 2 hours upgrading my phone!! So many choices...mostly colour ones I have to admit. I went for red in case anyone is interested. Girly purple was a bit too 'girly'; we need to keep a good balance of overtly girly stuff! So the phone is just another step in my continuation to embrace technology because I have to say, I'm getting a bit addicted or maybe its procrastination but I love this whole social networking thing. Twitter being my latest venture, although no one is actually following what I post so fingers crossed..

This got me thinking today, how important these things actually are...I mean, as one of the guys from Invisible Children said, what has this generation got a leg up on other generations over...and that is definitely technology. We have so many outlets to voice our opinions, advertise gigs or whatever...just being ourselves as well I guess. I never thought that I would jump onto the Facebook bandwagon, I mean, who wants to hear what I'm up to...but its strange how we yearn to be heard and its amazing how interested we are in other people's lives. Now, perhaps we delve into dangerous territory and risk becoming self involved but I genuinely believe that its pretty cool to embrace who we are and let people see us for that. 

I was thinking the other day about this whole letting people see us for who we are...and perhaps the biggest thing about social networking isn't pushing our personalities but finding common ground with others. Personally, most of my Facebooking involves people from my music course and there's a great sense of common ground amongst musicians because we tend to be in the same boat most of the time and regardless as to whether we chat about music stuff, I still feel close to my friends in that sense. Look at the whole status comment phenomenon...how many of us write comments in reply to others or state that we 'like' this? It's ridiculous when we think about it.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this but I genuinely find it fascinating how progressive generations have found new and maybe sometimes ridiculous ways of keeping in touch like Facebook or Twitter..I don't count Bebo because its, well, crap! 

Last night whilst watching Doubt, I remembered a sermon the priest in it spoke on. He said about how 'doubt' can often be a more powerful tool in bringing people together than our certainty. I completely agree with this because, isn't everyone lost at various points in their lives? Isn't it the one stand out thing that unites us as people? I think so. As a christian, I believe that church is important, I believe that honesty is important and I believe that it is important to get alongside people when they 'doubt' or when they fall or when they feel ashamed because THAT is our human common ground; its not our musical taste or what team we support, its not even whether you liked the colour of phone that I picked. 

Our humanness will always be what brings us together....and I think that is a powerful thing.

Perfect timing

A lot of very exciting things have been happening in my life over the past few weeks. The Rescue with Invisible Children was one of them and although we've done the rescue...there's so much more to be done. I was in tears this morning as I watched the Oprah Winfry show from Friday where she had the Chicago rescue riders on! What an impact that has made and perfect timing; those guys who camped out for 6 nights awaiting rescue have truly inspired me and when I was reading another blog, I have been encouraged by this idea of holding out for something. I mean, those guys could have gotten rescued on the first night...but they wouldn't have ended up on Oprah and so it overwhelms me sometimes just how perfect Gods timing really is.

So The Rescue and in particular Chicago, has helped me realise a lot, which leads me onto my other exciting matter. About a week and a half ago, I received a message on my myspace page from a guy in northern Ireland who is a jazz promoter/agent. I have known of this guy's reputation for years and he was always someone whom I wanted to hear me sing but I never had the confidence to push myself forward like that. Anyway, it completely took me by surprise...after years and especially the past few months since moving to London, of frustration about my future as a musician. You only have to read my blogs up until this point to understand just how down I was about what on earth i was going to end up doing, because as far as i was concerned, God wasn't really listening and I was somewhat confused as to why, after working so hard for years to be the musician I want to be, I wasn't where I expected to be...

I'm sure you understand but any fellow musicians or people trying to make a living out of live music, will heart wrenchingly know what I'm talking about. So this is why I was so surprised by this message. To cut a long story short, after my course is finished, I will be coming back to Northern Ireland. I don't want to say very much at the moment but its all looking really positive and I'm still in shock because I've waiting a long time for an opportunity like this!

I guess this is why this idea of perfect timing has become so real to me again after so long because when you're holding out for something and laying your self on the line so to speak, when things don't happen when you want, you begin to think they won't happen at all. That is what I have found terrifying in recent years, but I always knew the passion was still there so I had no reason to doubt God wanted to use it. My friend reminded me the other day that it may not look the way I imagined it, but if God's involved it will be the best thing...

Its a very exciting time for me at the moment and I plan to make the most of every opportunity London still has to offer and hopefully, I could be back over there in the future. I've learned a lot and God has been so good to me, ALL THE TIME and I admit that at times I didn't have any faith in that...

So, for anyone who has dreams, don't give up! God may change the course a bit, throw in sum potholes, but ultimately he knows the best route and the journey is never over. Plenty more potholes to come I'm sure!

When I fall

I arrived back in London last night and am getting ready for another busy term (last one!!!!). I have a 4 hour band rehearsal this afternoon which I'm praying goes well.... I think I've made a very big decision whilst spending time at home over Easter and its probably the best decision I could make at this stage; I've spent too long worrying about the future, wondering why I'm not where I want to be and feeling like I'll never get what I've wanted all my life. I've decided to....wait for it.....be patient! Its strange to say that because I always thought I was, but I guess not enough! I've had such a great time at home catching up with friends and getting lots of encouragement which was much needed! I still miss home like mad but I know that at the moment it isn't where I'm meant to be. 

I was on the plane yesterday and this song came on my ipod which just reminded me how, no matter whether I achieve what I set out to or whether I'm at my lowest, when I fall, I know where I'm landing. We all have times when we feel like God is nowhere around us and doesn't really understand..but He does and I need to keep reminding myself of that. Especially in London where it can be intensely lonely, I forget that I'm never alone.

I really wanted to make an amendment  or really, addition to this blog. This evening I was at a gig in Soho and as usual, everyone was heading out for a few drinks after. I usually would go but tonight I just needed to get home. So after enduring the slagging for going home and being a 'granny'?? Yeah, suddenly wanting to go home sober and get into a nice warm bed makes you a granny! anyway, I just knew that on this occasion something was telling me to call it a night. After nearly getting lost round Soho and eventually finding Piccadilly Circus (I don't know why I went that far either!), I got to the platform and was just watching all these people and thinking about this blog that I had written only this morning and was reminding myself over and over...'you're not alone'! Because there and then, I really felt it! I turned to my right and caught the eye of a guy standing next to me and O my word, we both laughed!; it was my friend Andrew from church back home! I had completely forgotten that he was studying in London! It was lovely to have a chat and find someone from home who lives near me in London! 

The world really IS small and God really DOES want us to know that we're not alone.

  

When I fall - Rachael Lampa

How can I find You

Are You hiding or am I

Should I go or should I wait for a sign

Following Your voice

Walking through a desert night

And I see Your silent storm in the sky

And I stand in my emotion, and I let it be my own

And I know I'm not forsaken

And I'll never be alone

When I fall, when I fall

I know where I'll be landing

When I fall, when I fall

You will still be standing

Somewhere in the silence

I can hear Your broken voice

Like a radio station fading out of range

Somewhere in the crowd

From the corner of my eye

I thought that I could feel You walking by

And when I get this feeling, like I am not so strong

I still can feel You with me

Yeah, You've been there all along

When I fall, when I fall 

I know where I'll be landing 

When I fall, when I fall 

You will still be standing 

When I fall, Yeah 

Somewhere I'm alone

Won't You take my empty hands

And fill them with Your love

Won't You take me as I am

When I fall, when I fall 

I know where I'll be landing 

When I fall, Oh, when I fall 

You will still be standing